The Epic Fail that is Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Okay, so who here has seen the latest Transformers movie?

Well...unfortanately, I have.

I'm sorry, but I just can't get on board with the whole robot drama thing. Or the fact that Shia LeBeouf seems incapable of speaking in a tone that is not a shriek, shout, or yell of any dimension. I mean really, come on Shia. You can do better than that.

I was sitting in the movie theater with a bunch of family members, watching this ridiculous over-two-hour-long movie, and I was just thinking: "Are they serious? Who goes for this stuff? There are so many things that are more constructive that I could be doing right now." I spent most of the robot fighting scenes thinking of all the things I could be doing besides wasting my life at this movie.

This is the list I came up with:

-Talking to my friends
-Riding/hanging out with my horse
-Cleaning my room
-Reading a book
-Coming up with a solution that could kill a zombie
-Finding a magical rainbow pony unicorn
-Praying to God that there is not another Transformers movie
-Praying to God that there is not another High School Musical movie
-Praying to God that Shia LeBeouf and Zac Efron never meet
-Creating a book about how to kidnap a celebrity
-Building a time machine, going forward to 2012, and seeing if the world actually does end (and seeing if the reason it ends is truly because the Decepticons took over the planet and Shia was not there to save the world and then make out with his girlfriend)

It was after that last thought that I was interrupted by a loud groan of despair from one of my younger family members, as he shielded his eyes and turned away from the sight of Shia sucking faces with Rosie Huntington-Whitely.

As I stood up and left the movie theater, I took a deep breath and said to my family, "Now that's two and a half hours of my life I'm never getting back."

Please, if you have any self-preservation or concern about your well-being at all, do NOT go and see Transformers. It is a waste of your life.

I just can't believe that the Transformers movies have made so much money on such a ridiculous plot - whoever devised it should go to prison for robbing so many people of their money.